Caterina, prega per noi

I have just made a note in my diary ("project section") that, once I finish tackling my exam material, I must prepare an essay on Catherine of Siena. I am surprised that I never did get to one - and on a site that deals with 14th century mystics.

Here is a selection from Catherine's dialogue "On Divine Providence":

Eternal God, eternal Trinity... you are a mystery as deep as the sea. The more I search, the more I find, and the more I find the more I search for you. But I can never be satisfied; what I receive will ever leave me desiring more. When you fill my soul, I have an even greater hunger, and I grow more famished for your light. I desire above all to see you, the true light, as you really are....

Eternal Trinity, Godhead, mystery deep as the sea, you could give me no greater gift than the gift of yourself. For you are a fire ever burning and never consumed, which itself consumes all the selfish love that fills my being. Yes, you are a fire that takes away the coldness, illuminates the mind with its light and causes me to know your truth. By this light, reflected as it were in a mirror, I recognise that you are the highest good, one we can neither comprehend nor fathom... beauty and wisdom itself. The food of angels, you gave yourself to man in the fire of your love... in our hunger, you are a satisfying food, for you are sweetness, and in you there is no taste of bitterness, O triune God!

For those unfamiliar with Catherine's biography, I am providing a link to a related article from the Catholic Encyclopaedia. Her most unusual life (imagine a consecrated virgin at age 6) would have caused her much scorn - few of the saints fit conventional moulds, but Catherine certainly went against the grain beyond what is usual even in hagiography. It is most fortunate she lived in the 14th century rather than the 21st - modern psychologists would have totally ruined her. :)

I admire Catherine immensely - please do not let my comments make it appear that I think her love was anything but perfectly genuine. Her writings are perfectly brilliant, and are an exquisite illustration of how the great lovers can present their 'songs' of praise whilst admitting that God is unknowable. Part of what I so admire is that she could go against the grain, as it were - summon the pope back from Avignon, somehow make peace between warring cities - yet be a mystic and solitary at heart.

It is unfortunate that treatment of Catherine often centres on her sufferings. Even apart from that, as my other entries have shown, that is not a spirituality which I consider to be healthy, some of Catherine's sufferings were not of supernatural origin, and indeed could be traced to her eccentricities. (Both patrons of Italy are stigmatics - both very holy, both not of the highest degree of emotional stability.) Yet it is a reminder that the heights of sanctity can be reached even by those who, today, would be called 'sick.'

Considering she lived on the Eucharist for a time... well, I know what the diagnosis would have been, at least in part, and those into pop psychology would have noted that, in her mystic writings, she is always speaking of being 'famished.' Never mind the stigmata... or her having been wed to Christ and received a ring which, so Catherine believed, actually was the foreskin removed at His circumcision. Anorexics never feel they have control over their lives, and I know, from my own experience, that we so ache for such control that we'd like to be able to part the waters... for Catherine to ask God to let her take on the sins of the world does indeed seem to usurp his prerogative. That prayer undoubtedly is what led to some of her horrid physical sufferings - yet I am sure not because God precisely bestowed these.

I believe it was Thomas Aquinas who spoke of how grace is bestowed according to the manner of the recipient. Catherine, like myself one living a consecrated life alone (though I lay no claims to having either her holiness or her brilliance!), could not have fit into conventional (or conventual) models. Those who reproach governments and popes would not meet the model of meekness and obedience which many spiritual writers would have esteemed. A little child who decides on an anchoress' life certainly would have been formidable. Even those who tolerated Francis' frankness on the matter would have been unlikely to appreciate the humility Catherine showed in writing with candour of her strong sexual temptations. Yet however unstable Catherine may have been, her will was turned in the proper direction. Her actions were born of white-hot love.

My sister and my beloved, open yourself to me, you are a coheir of my kingdom, and you have understood the hidden mysteries of my truth.