It is my honour to remain, Your Grace...

...I suppose that,under some circumstances, that sentence might continue with something along the lines of 'your most humble servant,' but I knew full well that no one would believe that. This may come as something of a surprise, but (much as I'm sure I'd enjoy doing so - and, in those cases, at least the protocol is consistent) I've never had a seat in the House of Lords (nor really known anyone who did), nor have I been presented at Court. Rather, I had three decades of working for the RC Church - and in several different dioceses. You will understand my discretion in not mentioning precisely where.

I love pageantry. One of my favourite images of Christ is as King of King and Lord of Lords (even if it helps me, now and then, to remember that, during his earthly ministry, he was a Mediterranean peasant - for reasons that may be obvious.) I was rather disappointed when Paul VI declined the 'triple crown' (yes, I know why - but I love tradition), and all the more sorry when John Paul II decided against a coronation at all. (Later, it occurred to me that a man's man such as John Paul may have seen this as a colossal waste of money - and that, given his own origins, such a spectacle would have resembled my father's having a coronation. For all my long years of membership in the Monarchist League, I'll concede that I'd feel silly having a crown placed on my own head.)

I've known many a bishop (not all ordinaries - but some of them would be known to you, hence my discretion.) During my youth, certain customs (such as genuflecting to kiss a bishop's ring) went from being strictly observed to falling by the wayside. My first diocesan job was in a Worship Office - these were the days of intense liturgical optimism... The bishop with whom I'd have had the most contact then was not young, but didn't care for frills, and left many people, including his clergy, nearly tumbling when he told them not to kiss the ring. He liked to be addressed, whether in speech or writing, as just "Bishop," with no name following.

Names here are fictitious but should give you the flavour. The next three bishops with whom I had the closest connections preferred to be addressed as (1) Your Excellency in writing, but "Archbishop" or "Archbishop Jones" in speech, (2) "Bishop Edward," and (3) Your Grace. That last did not care to have anyone refer to him as anything but "His Grace." (Don't let on that I revealed this, but, whatever RC talk there is about what was previously suffered from the English, there are RC bishops who, deep down, would love not only a seat in the House of Lords but an accompaniment of Swiss Guards, if not ten legions of angels - the latter visibly manifest, of course.)

I've known bishops who would wear the sort of regalia one sees on Vatican broadcasts to attend a picnic, others who, seeking to be something of the 'common man' (...and those who tried that often betrayed that they were common indeed...), wore clerical shirts with the pectoral cross tucked into a pocket - coupled with a mandatory cardigan - on more formal occasions. For reasons I've never been able to discover, the fatter the bishop, the more likely that he'd be wearing trousers in a loud tartan material when he was trying to be 'off duty' and inconspicuous.

I never worked in a bishop's office, but, in my own role (which I'll just summarise as a manager), naturally I had contact with many. Communication, especially when everything had to be documented and therefore needed a cover letter, presented intricate problems. Provided he (or "His Grace") phoned me first, I was permitted to speak. (In fact, I broke many a telephone cord unwittingly. It was so natural that I didn't even realise I was doing this, but, once I heard the bishop's voice, I immediately rose from my chair - and the phone ended up on the floor.) Writing was another matter! Neither I nor my boss (who was upper management) could have the audacity to write to a bishop - even if it was only a cover memoranda forwarding a new credit card. If I recall correctly, the "stratosphere" level boss (my boss's boss) could write to bishops provided they wrote to him first. Otherwise, we'd have to seek out his secretary to write to the bishop's. (I'm burning a bit because it would have been acceptable for me, though not my own boss nor my male subordinates, to write to a bishop's secretary, because I was a woman and therefore never quite taken seriously. I could tell many irritating stories, others that are hilarious, except that I know there are people in this world who know who I am and with whom I worked.)

Even when the 'stratosphere boss' wrote to anyone, there was a strong protocol. Bishops (even those who were not ordinaries, and even if it was what, to anyone else, would be nearly a scratch pad memo) had to be addressed with the full honorific as a preface and the suffixes of the honorary degrees, including the mandatory fiddle-D.D. which is a courtesy title to everyone consecrated an RC bishop. One also had to remember whether one was 'respectfully' (when writing to clergy) or 'most respectfully' (bishops) His.

Oddly enough, to a large extent I believe in a high standard of etiquette. I would no sooner not rise when a clergyman, let alone a bishop, entered the room than I would walk the streets in a potato sack. It therefore became difficult to gauge who would think this plain courtesy, who would want his ring kissed as well, who would long for the days of the genuflection (I'm arthritic - I don't manage that one even in front of the tabernacle, not from disrespect but because I couldn't get up), and who, maddeningly, would say "don't get up," thereby leaving me in permanent, semi-Anglican crouch mode.