Some sins we all find quite capital

(The link in this title refers to a previous blog entry about how pride takes weird forms.)

It must be the winter blahs - I'm wondering seriously if it may be Eastertide before my brain thaws out and I can get back to this blog. Just yesterday, when I was engrossed in a study of Deutero-Isaiah, I had all sorts of marvellous ideas about divine transcendence and immanence, and of our being his icons, if you will. One of the most challenging parts of studying the Hebrew Scriptures is detaching oneself from the Christian interpretations... but entering into a spirit of exegesis in the spirit of the time is difficult, considering that the Old Testament is just so ancient and edited. So, my treatise on the Suffering Servant (who could be Israel, an ideal Israel, God Himself, the prophet... fortunately, in my programme of studies we are allowed no shortcuts, and must consult all the scholars), shall have to wait for a time.

To divert myself, and to remind my readers (are there any left?) that I am still among the living, I'm lapsing into one of my sillier modes. I read recently of a distinguished church which was presenting a series of talks on the seven capital sins (I'm a medievalist, so it sparked ideas of journeys through purgatory and the like... I'd hate to end up in what Dante pictured as the location of the lustful). This brought back a memory of when I was a financial manager for a major archdiocese. When a priest who was on the archbishop's staff (a delightful man, but sometimes a jokester) phoned me to ask if any one of my own staff were free to serve as chauffeur during a visit from Cardinal Sin, I commented that I'd see if Lust or Avarice were free, but doubted that (two elderly couriers) Anger and Pride were available.

Naturally, had the reference been to the 4th, 14th, or even 19th centuries, I might have had a clue that Cardinal Sin was primate of the Philippines. But I'm useless in the 20th and 21st centuries. Current events stymie me - because I think we need perspective, hindsight of a century at the least, to see anything clearly.

Well, enough of that diversion. I shall begin my series on the 'principle defects' with a sin which most of us find to be quite capital: pride. I received a noble inspiration, from a most unlikely source, which prompted this reflection. In view of my own great humility, writing on this topic is not easy, but I shall make my best effort.

The source of the inspiration was a dinner at a fine restaurant, to which a friend was kind enough to treat me. Friend, who had been unable to finish the ample and expensive main course she had ordered, took the course of action I would take were I ever to find myself in that situation (which is unlikely, since those who live on scrambled eggs and minute steaks with the consistency of shoe leather never leave a restaurant plate full), by asking that it be wrapped for her to take home. However, to my great annoyance, the request was ended with the despicable phrase "...for my dog."

Naturally, my irritation was piqued not only by the thought of what it would be like to have a dog who enjoyed Shrimp Creole (imagine walking it!), nor by the action of lying. It was an illustration of the vice of pride, albeit a minor one: one like said friend can order a gourmet dish in a restaurant, yet feel compelled to insure that the waiter believes that one finds it fit only for an animal once it makes its initial appearance at table. (Where I come from, one can recycle the rare joint of good beef for a week.) You can imagine what I think of the odious characters who really do give fine food to a dog, but that is a topic for another lecture.)

While those who live holy poverty (...best to call it something other than raw poverty) do not have problems related to prawns, and assuredly never give fancy food to four legged friends, even Religious have been known to have problems with pride. If you doubt it, watch the weak ones around you now and then. Herewith I present some of the major varieties of this malady:

(1) "I am not canonised only because I am still breathing" Syndrome: Seen in those who, after reading of the seventh mansion of Saint Teresa or gulping "Spiritual Canticle" on a day or recollection, comment that they remember when they went through "that," years before. (Those making this statement, incidentally, are often 19 at most.)

(2) "Worm and No Man" Syndrome: This form of internal pride makes one's faults attractive because one feels one is practising heroic humility in admitting them. (Even to God, who would not know about them unless we told Him.) Major symptons include the tendency to silently begin one's confession with "Bless me, Father, for I am a saint with a delicate conscience...," the desire to publicly accuse oneself of minor 'failings' (such as not reading the seven penitential psalms last night, not that anyone ever really had to be penitent) whilst acting as if one fears eternal condemnation for this omission; the sense that making one's confession is evangelisation rather than accusation, since one's confessor must be edified greatly to encounter anyone with such enormous humility and zeal.

(3) "Hotline to Heaven": Found in all who tell others that the grass is green and believe that, in doing so, they will attain a reputation for having an unlimited measure of infused grace. Varieites include those who quote prominent theologians sans source (as if these ideas just popped into one's head); those who decry any learning or intellectual pursuit (they get their daily jolt of the Holy Spirit in the 10:00 vision); those who learn what others should do with their lives in visions; and charismatics who pray, endlessly, in every language except one known to earthlings. All should beware especially of dreamy pronouncements begun with "God is here - right in this room!" (Whether what follows is divinely inspired may be open to question - but is there any doubt that He is there? )

(4) Feast and Fast Dilemma: Found in those who do not need to eat, and make sure everyone knows their degree of self inflicted deprivation, because they are over fed by the admiration they assume others have for their starvation.

(5) Swoon School of Mysticism: Similar to disease number 2, except that it requires one to preface one's profound statements with gulps, sighs, a facial expression cum hand pressed to forehead reminiscent of an advertisement for paracetemol, and the description of what colour auras one sees at the moment.

(6) All Things to All People: A popular dance number, dependent entirely on the company of the moment - slide to the left, dip to the right, take a bow.

(7) Mount Everest: "Well (sigh)... if that's what is important to you... I've no objection.... we cannot (sigh) expect everyone to reach our level.."

(8) Self-Righteous Indignation: Self-explanatory, an example being found in nuns who pretend shock if a student uses mild profanity, or a Sister uses a handkerchief without holes in it, or any Religious laughs out loud. Characteristic is the intense feeling that anyone who watches anything on television except the news, or listens to anything on radio except a weather report, is a Communist and/or Freemason. Those who love art, as I do, will come under fire - we're supposed to pretend that anything on a wall except a poorly constructed crucifix distracts us from prayer.

(9) Regular Guy: One who thinks that, since one never acts like a Religious, everyone will envy one's relationship with Christ, which is 'beyond' that of others.

(10) Shirley Temple Revisited: This causes one to desire that one be known for extreme cheerfulness and pluck, but only if it is understood how much one suffers and always has.

(11) We Are Not Amused (apologies to Queen Victoria) : Manifested in those who lower their eyes and slightly smile when some peasant speaks; or who make comments such as "Oh, I am so horribly embarrassed! The superior just told me she has never known a nurse more dedicated than I!"

(13) Hey, Look Me Over: In the early stages, this is evidence in the pressing thought, en route to receiving Holy Communion, that everyone in the church is watching one's obvious piety. Later, it advances to one's making profound genuflections and kissing the floor, or reciting the rosary with arms extended... but only in the parish church, and only if it is full.

The treatment, I suppose, is to remember that humility is truth. But that is quite hard, because we cannot bear being that real. It's so humiliating!