Exams finally finished

I am quite exhausted, of course, and today's entry may be of little value. I've been glancing at some headlines this week (post exam collapse), and just had to shake my head. Why do people assume that the words of 'professionals' may be taken as gospel? I'm remembering one friend of mine, who had five children in the course of 12 years. She freely admitted that whatever the doctor told her about her pregnancy or newborn care with any one child had changed by the time the next was born.

So... now women who have pain relief during childbirth will have yet another reason to feel guilty, imposed by midwives who have to justify their own existence beyond deliveries. It appears that the latest wisdom is that, if any of the agony is compromised (I suppose it has some mystic significance, beyond any other dreadful pain), the woman later will 'feel she missed something' and fail to 'bond' with the baby. Ah, yes, the 'bonding' thing again. Until recently, for example, when families often shared quarters or at least saw each other frequently, it was perfectly respectable for family and friends to hold babies... now, isolation is the name of the game to some extent, lest another's holding the child ruin the bonding with the mother.

Has common sense expired? Last week, I saw a programme about a teenaged mother, whose midwife not only did not want her mother or sister to feed or hold the baby, but insisted that the little one had to be up and dressed very early before he was fed. I have enough experience of babies to know that they need to be changed most after that morning feed... who would wash and dress a baby before then?

I recall, years ago, knowing a couple from Spain who had infant twins. The twins did not talk as early as they expected (that everyone is different is never considered), and the couple were told by a doctor that, if the little ones heard both English and Spanish, they'd never learn English. It did not occur to the couple to question this, though more people grow up bilingual than do not... after all, they'd heard this from a doctor...

Why does this so annoy me? It is not related to children per se at all. What angers me is the false premise. People have always had problems - and we've all been different from day one. But each generation expects to produce the breed, finally, which is perfectly well 'adjusted.' That never shall happen. If anything, all that this approach will produce are other reasons for parents to torture and blame themselves.