Thursday 2 July 2009

No vow of silence here...

From my earliest days, I've always admired those who took initiative (for the sake of true principles), when it 'went against the grain.' It wasn't much later that I realised that, where those who were innovators often are hailed as heroes a century later, when many can enjoy the benefit of the risks the innovator took, they aren't well regarded in their own time. To use a very old and well-known example - confronting the powers that be can lead to freedom, but, initially, it well may mean that one still is in slavery but now has no straw for the bricks. (I think Moses spent forty years wondering if he'd have been better off had he played ball with the Establishment.)

Mine is by no means a head that would seek a martyr's crown, nor would I care to be a public figure. Nonetheless, not only in childhood but to this day, I still can't figure out why many people are afraid to say what they really mean. I've had difficulties at times, because I'll say aloud what I'm fairly certain others would believe as well - my mistake is in thinking that, once someone 'comes out with it,' others will admit they agree.

I shouldn't be surprised, I suppose. Any marketing survey will show that everyone reads The Times, no one the tabloids - yet sales figures would give the lie to these results. I may have caught on to that people shrink from telling the truth if it does not involve 'going along with the crowd' before I was even weaned, but I probably was nearly 40 before my idealistic (militant, actually) self realised that the majority of people do not act on principles, but on what is socially acceptable. I sometimes laugh, sometimes weep, as well because any authority, real, usurped, imagined, or the result of advertising will command action far more than personal ideas. (I'm sick to death of hearing about certain hot topics, but no one would dare admit this. I've seen the few interesting discussions I've been fortunate to find - whether they are about culture, history, literature, when it last rained, or that a continent sunk into the sea - sabotaged by mention of cholesterol, breast cancer, the obesity epidemic which I'm sure the equally trendy 'Mediterranean diet' caused, the evils of television, or anything and everything that has to do with 'our children.')

Before the psycho babble crowd write to me again (they never catch on that I find them to be duped fools), the example to follow is trivial indeed. I often use trivial examples because they are harmless.

As far as I know, there is no new legislation obligating everyone to drink only water - but it seems that, in various circles, one may not be seen doing otherwise. I suppose that no one wants to hear the nonsense from those who see one indulging in a cup of tea, glass of wine, lemonade, whatever. Still, at that alumni gathering of which I 'told' my readers recently, I find it very difficult to believe that, out of perhaps ten people, nearly everyone (excepting myself, of course) didn't want anything but water. (Were I to write an etiquette book, I must add, I would give this rule for dining: order what you want, whatever it is. Boring others is stupid, and the trendy assertions that one can 'have red meat tonight since I didn't have it in a month,' etc., will leave those like myself bored to tears... and leave those who care about 'socially acceptable behaviour' to go home hungry because they fear not showing their undying commitment to fitness.)

Here's a sillier example on the same theme. There is a gym class I attend, aimed at those past their first youth, which I indeed have found had a positive effect on both my arthritis and my poor balance. (Someday, I may even be able to bounce a ball without hitting myself in the nose, and can get my kindergarten diploma. There's still hope, provided I don't have to skip or tie shoelaces.) I go to two different gyms, and, at both, the instructors are young, female athletes with quite delightful personalities. However, there are two key differences. First, Jen at the 'gym A' instructs us only in the exercises - she is not preachy, doesn't keep reminding us that she is CPR certified and also will call for an ambulance if anyone feels overly exerted, and doesn't feel an obligation to talk to us as if we were three years old and needed to be taught that everything we eat, drink, or do is unhealthy - thank God! Second, "Gym A", which is located in a much larger facility with varied activities, has such little social gatherings as simple lunches, which many people attend. (I don't, because I don't eat starchy food - but I gather those who go are pleased with the tuna mayo sandwich or macaroni cheese, after which they have some tea or coffee with a slice of cake.) Gym A therefore is a happy place to be - and many people attend not only for exercise classes and swimming but for the (much needed) truly social element.

Gym B is quite another matter. Cheryl easily is young enough to be my daughter, or granddaughter of some others in attendance, yet she does... all the things I praised Jen for not doing in the last paragraph. Great fun, isn't it, to be working out to popular music and be reminded that she can do CPR? (None of us are hitting the century mark any time soon, I might add.) But I suppose I'd rather be treated as if I were 90 than as if I were in infant school. One of Cheryl's goals in life, I gather, is to (drum roll, please) convince her 'pupils' to drink only water. Gym B does not have social events, but, when Cheryl announced a 'social,' she reminded us, in the voice of one saying, "Now, children, don't forget to bring blunt ended scissors to school tomorrow," "Now remember we're still drinking water! Don't forget your water bottles!"

Balderdash. I was glad Ed said it first, and I seconded the motion - who wants nothing but water at a supposed social event? This is just more 'overly inflated health freak' nonsense - probably intended to 'plug' some other programme at that gym, perhaps nutritional consulting or personal training (which I doubt anyone there could afford.. though someone might go without fuel or food for a month if convinced this girl is going to lengthen their lives...)

To my surprise, aside from Ed and myself, everyone sat there as if they were in kindergarten! (Gym A has the audacity to have such things as coffee ... I'm guessing that, here and there, a few people still have urns and kettles, even if I probably am the only person left who uses loose tea and cosies.) May I speculate as to why...

  • The seeming authority of a teacher, even when she is less than half one's age, demands acquiescence

  • Some of those there read, perhaps on some Internet forum, that everything except water is 'poison,'

  • Ergo, they want someone to force them to be ashamed to drink the poison they've only been consuming for 70 years or so

  • If anyone admits to preferring a spot of tea or some wine, it isn't socially acceptable

  • People like to either be bullied (which I'll admit Cheryl never has done) or be treated in a condescending manner because they think it will 'motivate' them



Yes, this is a highly silly example - but notice that no one there would admit to any feelings other than 'bring on the water bottle,' lest they disobey or not fit in with the trendy.

Were I not being silly, I could spin quite a thread about how all too many people approach principles, Church, society, or God with much the same attitude... It makes it difficult to know what anyone else really thinks. (I can respect varied points of view, but not a lack of integrity.) "Consensus" too often means "I was afraid to talk." (It undoubtedly is immediately clear that this is use of the rhetorical "I"!) In the end, on far more important matters than pretending one wouldn't dream of drinking anything but water, does one even know what one believes?!

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