Common sense, anyone?

I am not suggesting that I possess this in any great degree. My dad, who was no model of academic intelligence but had his share of street smarts, used to say of many of the educated "They got the book learning, but not the ways of the world!" (Of course, it probably is obvious who it was that he usually meant.) Concedo!

I'm thinking of the few cherished friends I have, whom I see as possessing good sense, with whom I share ideas to achieve some balance. (I'm hopeless - not only a sheer romantic, and so caught up in intellectual ideals and ascetic theology that I always have this vague, underlying sense that everyone is looking to get to Teresa's seventh mansion. I'd have Jack the Ripper in for tea and believe him when he convinced me that he had great trust in divine mercy, never seeing he had no conscience at all.) They invariably are very honest (with themselves, not only with others) and can see things clearly.

I also have a few, equally cherished friends, talented and intelligent as they may be, who would pour ice cold water into a hot glass beaker and be astonished that it shattered, or who would wonder if the cat did not have respect for the fine home with which she was provided were she to drag in a mouse. Some have the most marvellous ideas... but whether these are 'workable' would elude them.

Some years back, I recall reading of a multiple choice test of general knowledge (questions such as 'what was Shakespeare's name?') which was administered to people of various backgrounds. The more formal education they had, the worse the scores. I understand well - perpetual students, myself among them, are so used to 'revisionist histories' and to hearing that what they learnt twenty years ago is no longer considered valid, that we are always looking for the 'trick question.'

I certainly believe there is such a thing as common sense, though in the current climate we'll need to use some version of Occam's razor to find it.

Nothing is allowed to just be any more. We cannot see the obvious, because we over-analyse, filtering everything through all sorts of versions of psychology, looking for the hidden motive (for example, someone who merely likes privacy will be assumed to either be a criminal or be either repressing memories of or sheltering one), losing a moral sense because we are so busy looking for the hidden reasons why we act that we cannot admit to the actions (and our genuine motives) themselves.

It seems to me that, at some time within the past 30 years, people have become extremely self absorbed - and the odd result was that meddling in others' lives, always being ready with 'advice,' complaining of others at the slightest provocation, and so forth has increased. Perhaps we are so unaware of having any human value that we're forever seeking worth. And common sense has got lost in the shuffle.

I'm thinking of a very silly example I saw on an Internet forum. The mother of a teenaged girl was telling of how her daughter had declined an invitation from a boy who seemed interested in her. Said mother, plus many of the others on the forum, had all sorts of reflections about, for example, how the girl may have fantasies of another man and prefer fantasy to the reality of relationships, etc., etc., etc.. It did not seem to occur to any of them that perhaps the girl did not like the boy who extended the invitation or that she well may not care to be spending time with "John" when she's hoping for some interest from "Paul."

On another forum, a regular contributor (the sort who is always going on and on about herself - usually in reference to how much weight she's lost this year), was full of woe about her own adolescent daughter. She fears said daughter has 'body image issues,' instilled by her exposure to Barbie dolls. I daresay to imagine her daughter has such problems is quite believable - but I am inclined to doubt that any doll was the source. (For the record, to my knowledge it is only neurotic mothers, not kids, who are torturing themselves with concerns about comparison with foot high, plastic women.)

Thirty years ago, a total bore (and the self absorbed are in that category as a rule) might realise she was just a bore. Today, she's more likely to think that those around her cannot deal with changes in herself (about which, I'm sure, they all think all night, and which are of paramount importance to them), and will be exploring whether she needs to enlighten all and sundry or go to therapy.

Some of the basic principles of common sense would include recognition that everyone is different - that we never know either the pain or joy which another may have in whatever circumstances - that we must not assume another's motives - that actions have consequences (this to be used in evaluating our own situation) - that the decision one made in 1969, which did not have the effects one expected, was not motivated by subconscious hatred for oneself just because what was promising then was no longer so in 1984 - that not everyone is seeking one's advice (and practically no one is) - that, if a church organises a social club for young, unmarried adults, those in attendance are not there because they feel the Church gives insufficient attention to 'single life as vocation' (in fact, that is the last option they wish to fulfil) - that recognising one's own limitations is part of maturity, not 'putting oneself down' - that we're all going to do things we regret or which are stupid (especially in youth), but that there are many cases where one can only learn by experience - that the crook who passes bad cheques each week is not going to reform just because you trusted him with your money.

I recall a news report I once heard regarding a parade. One float contained a huge balloon which was diverted, crushing into the crowd, with the danger that someone might be smothered. A policeman, who had a knife, cut into the balloon to prevent this, and lots of 'protestors' saw this as 'violence'. My niece, Alison, who was all of 4 years old at the time, heard the report, and turned to me, puzzled, saying, "But that was not a person - that was a balloon!" I breathed a sigh of relief that she already was showing signs of the common sense which I imagine she inherited from Sam.